Mars

Ugghhhh.....another weekend is over. My life is flying by - except when I'm in the office.
The weekend was good.....but blurry. Firday night I saw Pepper with Gus....they were opening up for some one and we were the oldest people there. It was a little sad. But the headlining band is pretty immature sounding so it figures. I believe I read a review once that called them a cheap Sublime knock off. That can't feel good!

So I've been totally sleep deprived and I've started doing wacky things like talking in my sleep and not being able to seperate my dreams from reality. But it's realy nice when you meet some one who's company you enjoy so much that you don't want to go to sleep and you end up doing something totally dorky like playing Trivial Pursuit in bed so that you could stay awake and spend more time with him. So that was my saturday night - well, after spending some time with an excon and watching some friends do a wierd durg they brought back from Prague, and playing spin the bottle in a Dumb and Dumber tux.

My friend just broke up with his girlfriend of three years. I totally thought they were going to make it. He said that at the age of 27 mars returns to the same position as it was at the time of your birth, and that makes your 27th year of age one filled with a feeling of emotional connection to one's self and huge life changes. It's probably BS, but 27 has been a pretty wierd age for a lot of people i know! I feel like I defnitely see some things now and A LOT has changed since my birthday - mostly for the better = ) Maybe it's my quarter-life crisis, or maybe it's Mars.

You're not wearing enough flare!

Office Space is pretty much a perfect movie, improved only by the experience of working in a corporate environment and internalizing the soul sucking that goes on.

This office is boring. There are some fun people, but the jobs are boring. The advertising here has a Friday breakfast club. Floyd and I were talking about it on the way to work. I have never been part of it, but my friends in adv often sneak me food on Friday. Especially since the Ex is the mastermind behind the club. PEOPLE FREAK OUT ABOUT THE CLUB. There are people that make gigantic breakfast skillets, or quiches or potato egg cakes... all good stuff. Then there are people that make less of an effort and grab some bagels and spreads and orange juice. Then there are events that are now only scornfully referred to as "the cereal bar incident". These people are much less popular immediately.

Then there's what will forever be known as the "Scottie D Incident of 2005". Scottie was once in adv, but got a position elsewhere two weeks before his breakfast club day. He failed to tell anyone that he wasn't bringing breakfast in and all hell broke lose. Last minute things were bought by other people on friday morning. Cartoons of Scott admitting to his cheapness and other more sinister things were hung all over the dept. People stopped talking, friendships were broken. This is what happens when you expect to eat others' food for months then bail just because you move. This is what happens when you mess with breakfast club.

Naturally, of course necessarily, a joint blog was set up to deal with these issues and put social pressure on people to perform.........I'd throw in a link but it is far too painful.

But my lips hurt real bad!

It's chapstick time of the year again, and with that, Nappy Dyno quoting time is in full effect. Ive realized, that there are two types of people in the world - those who get Napoleon, and those who don't. And frankly....I don't want to be friends with those who don't. It's not that I'm a hater, it's that I won't ever identify with you. High school sucked - it was awkward, tedious and political. If you've never felt like that much of a dork then you'll only be able to stare at me blankly with your pretty innocent eyes at half the awful high school memories I have. And furthermore, if you enjoy politics than chances are you could be a car salesman.....and they're NOBODY'S FRIENDS.

So it snowed and snowed and it was nice. I got to wake up with my new BOYFRIEND Gus and the bed was colder as soon as he left. I got to ride into work without Floyd which was peaceful and quiet. I got to bundle up in a nice warm sweater. And I got to drink as much hot tea and miso soup as I wanted. And yes, my lips were totally chapped. From now on I am helpless with out my lip balm.

So Gus has this blog address and has had it since the day this masterpiece was formed. Is this a mistake? Who knows? I mean, he could use it for evil purposes.....but somehow I don't sense an evil bone in his body. If he cares about me, I guess he's seen exactly who I am and what I want and would be gone if he didn't like it. And if not, then I guess he'll simply get his just desserts - because being with me without caring about me, really isnt' worth all that trouble. I'm sure it's impossible to know, let alone date Stephanie Klein without some one saying "dang! Are you sure? She aborted twins because her husband was cheating on her! Can you say 'bag lady?'" And she's not holding back!

I'll be sleeping alone tonight, but I have new flannel sheets to look forward to!

Maybe You Can't Stay Young, But You Can Stay Immature!

So not only does Brad Pitt get to bump uglies with Angelina Jolie, but he also makes $1000 every 5 minutes. I hate him.

Another weekend has come and gone and I’m still alive. Why are guys jerks? On Friday night I ended up almost walking home from a bar in a snowstorm because some @sshole was trying to get me too drunk to leave. Is this a good way to get some one to hang out with you? I just don’t get it. He’s also the first person that ever guessed my age right, which makes me sad. And considering he was trying to hit it, he probably thought he was being generous with that guess too. Not very smooth, Ex-Lax. Be weary of people who are divorced in their 20’s.

On Saturday morning, I woke up still buzzed and a friend took me out to an awesome breakfast! Good food and good company. Then we went to a sex toy store. I got some Betty Page art which I’ve been looking for for a while. I may have, or may not have, allegedly gotten something else.

Saturday night we went to an early Halloween party full of debauchery and substances. The pictures aren’t too incriminating once a couple have been deleted….but they are posted on the shared drive at work! UGH! Thanks Sleaza! Even Sleaza’s husband, who I thought was keeping it together really well, lost his keys. Someone fell through the shower, costumes were funny, a puppy stole a Jello shot……..it was a good time all around. Lost the soccer game on Sunday morning but it was fun! I put Gus (handsome cuddler) through a lot that night and he was a total trooper. If it was a sneaky test for kindness and devotion he would have passed with flying fcuking colors.

Passed out from massive fatigue after the game and was awoken by the doorbell. Guess what? Floyd invited people over, forgot about it, and wasn’t even there! “Nice Job Floyd!” I forced the last of my Bailey’s down their throats and tried to entertain for about a half hour before the girl had to go pick Floyd up. The guy stayed and hung out with me…because guess what? He has a bullet lodged in his leg and can’t walk very well. At this point…..I start wondering if they actually ever dropped Floyd’s real name…..or if I was so out of it that I just let some strangers in and I was going to die in my living room while I’m tired and hung over! They were really nice though. Turns out his crack head mom just shot him when he tried and intervention….no biggie……

Please remind me of this next time I’m bitching about breaking a nail or something.

Floyd went home sick from work this morning…on the ride here he wasn’t sick at all. I’m worried about him getting fired. Leases suck, eh?

I Love Living in the City

Ok.........so I have a dog. Tonight we went on a peaceful walk at 9pm. He was very happy! Just when we were passing through his favorite part of the walk, at the park where he gets to go off leash and I get to pray that I don't get a ticket written for it, what do I see? That's right, a big bright yellow veiny dildo lying on a bench. For visual, please see exhibits A and B. I included 2 images because I regret that my night framing doesn't show the vibrancy of this find. No, I did not bring it home with me. I love living in the city. Yes, that IS a playground in the back ground.

On the other hand, on my way home when I had one block left to go, two seemingly drunk guys behind me started screaming obsenities at random people and hitting road signs. I picked up my pace.

Asslamu Alaikum

Ever had a restraining order against you?

Yesterday was a snow day! I had to go to court in the morning for a ticket that I put off paying. It was the first time I’ve ever been “arraigned”. I plead no contest, which I think is really weird. I mean, it’s not guilty, and not not guilty. But imho, it has to be one or the other. I mean, even if you have an explanation, you’re still guilty. Whateva’! It was an interesting experience…..there were attractive firemen there. Took the rest of the day off.

Not much sleep lately. I need sleep and detox. I’m in a really randomly bad mood today and not sure why. I really miss my dog. Floyd was super high on the way to work today. I hope for his sake that he went straight to his desk and didn’t talk to any one for an hour or two.

On the bright side, a new guy has been sleeping over lately and he’s a great cuddler – just in time for winter! I somehow forgot how much it sucks when some one leaves your bed in the morning when you really want them there.

The Jamie show is really good today. I love the Jamie show – stream it every morning. If you don’t, you’re missing out. She’s awesome! She just had a kid though. A little too much kid talk. I miss the “I have the balls to admit I crawled through my boyfriend's doggie door to spy on him and found out he was indeed cheating on me” Jamie. I don’t know if I’d crawl through a doggie door, but I think that’s awesome! There’s an expert on the radio saying all men cheat or want to cheat. That’s depressing. Stalking must be good times. I had a stalker in high school. Once he brought a ladder to my parent’s house and tried to get into my bedroom at night.

The last time he tried to contact me was four years ago. He sent me a fake horoscope thing (no clue how he found my email). It asked me a bunch of questions and said it would give me a love prediction. When it was done I got a message saying “Thank you, your answers have been sent to Asshole McDouchebag”.

I used to know all of my ex’s passwords and codes to his house and family’s houses. He broke my heart and I didn’t even check his email once after. Pretty proud of myself! I honestly thought I was a lot more neurotic than that!

……..A stalker would really boost my self esteem these days…….If you’re interested please leave a comment, and I’ll give details as to my location ; )

Got Zoloft?

I had a great weekend! Up until it was time to go to work this morning, life was really good! Did the corn maze thing on Friday night. I’m not sure if it was scary, but it was definitely disorienting and could have made me go crazy if I didn’t get out when I did. We brought plenty of booze and I had to pee in the corn field – which is totally a first, and was a little creepy. Carved pumpkins and drank Bailey’s on Saturday (which is my official drink of the holiday season) and watched scary movies. It was very seasonal! I love Halloween!!!

On Sunday, we won our soccer game and I’m not used to winning. It was a really fun game. Spent some time with the parents, and then the weekend was topped off with an awesome massage! Then, alarm goes off, and BAM! It’s fucking Monday!

Work sucks. I want to be rich. Filthy, sinfully, dirty, rich. I want to be rich enough so I can go to the Prada store with my tennis coach (who I’m doing on the side, btw) and say things like “I’m so over poor people”. They say that when you’re super rich you can’t appreciate anything because you didn’t work for it. But I think that’s what us suckers say to ourselves so we don’t blow our brains out on a Monday morning.

I mean think about it. No, money doesn’t buy you happiness. But it buys your time and freedom. Time is the only completely limited resource in your life. Every second you spend at work is another second that you’re not living your life to the fullest. And all this BS about appreciating things? They’re just things and we’re not supposed to appreciate things anyway. We’re supposed to appreciate things like love and sunlight and puppies and kittens and friendship and an ice cube on the back of the neck after climbing to the peak of a mountain with a 360 view on a warm fall day! And these things are priceless any way.

Doesn’t buy you happiness, but it buys you time and freedom to find it, create it and savor it.

HAPPY MONDAY!

I'm soooooo hollow

I am so fucking sick of James Blunt, I could puke sushi and ice cream, eat it 2 hours later out of a peanut bowl at a bar, and it would still be better than hearing another James Blunt song. Are we as women so fucking desperate for love that we fall for this whiny fucking orchestrated (why don't u cater to the disillusioned romantic woman who wants someone to whine about her?) shit with no substance at all?

Please, give me a fucking break.

I'm guessing not many male fans out there. If you are, at least stick to some decent songs like "black" or "that song" or "100,000 miles" or "I wanna be adored" or "here without you" orrrr, ugh.....anything's fucking better!!!!!!!!

Come on! NO MORE JAMES BLUNT!

America's Next Top Model on Tonight!!!!!!

Today is National Coming Out Day! It’s also second day in a row on too little sleep. I’d totally go down on a girl right now if the boss let me go home and sleep.

Went out for Jo’s birthday last night. We started out at her apartment and I brought 2 bottles of wine. Six glasses later, I cut both my hands on a wine bottle while trying to get more, reinforcing the point that Yours Truly can’t be trusted to do anything after some wine. Didn’t notice until there was blood all over my hands “Wtf? How did I get salsa on my hands?” Hahaha.

We moved to a bar stumbling distance away where some other people joined up. Drunken random asshole reinforced the point that drunken random assholes at bars should keep to themselves. We were all just sitting around and talking about something, and I’m not sure if it was even provoked, but random drunk asshole comes up to our table and some how starts talking about how there’s no such thing as an “accidental pregnancy, if you know what I mean (wink)…….it’s always the girl’s fault…….” or something like that! WTF?! What are you talking about? Keep your issues to yourself – maybe in your tiny scrotum. We were rude back. He came back later to wish my Jo a Happy Birthday. We asked him to take his creepy self some where far away from us. – But worded MUCH better. Jo, YOU ROCK!

I was supposed to get set up with some one there – not sure if I was.
Jo “I’m not sure if he’ll come tonight, he can be pretty flaky”. If I was interested at all before - not any more.

My brother would be disappointed, because “I should date around as much as possible”. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a “date” except when I’ve asked a bf to take me on one. Is that weird? Not sure if I care for formal dates with people I don’t know. Ick. I’m always the girl that guys ask to do “hang out things” rather than “dates”. Does this mean I’m not girly enough? I’ll start worrying when girls start hitting on me. Or maybe I’ll just finally come out.

Yet another person in my life has come out and said that he didn’t really think the guy (Hymen is his p0rn name) and I had that “meant to be together feel” – my roommate (Floyd) that is. He went on to say that even from the little bit he’s seen, that a new guy I’ve been spending time with lately, seems a lot more my personality type – but THIS, I already know.

ClicheClicheCliche

So what is being in love vs. loving some one? It’s kind of unexplainable………it’s love with a twist. It just feels different. It’s that little bit of excitement and passion. It’s different for everyone. And you can’t force it to happen, or stop it when it does. It’s not in your mind – it’s in your gut and it compels you.

Since I recently went through a break up, I also recently went through the, “I’m going to ask for advice, not because I really need advice, but because I already know the answer and need it reinforced over and over again because I’m scared” stage. If you’ve never been there, then a hearty fcuk you to you! At some point, I consulted my friend Sleaza SlideItIn. Don’t worry; this is just her p0rn name. Sleaza and her husband have a great marriage. Watching them interact is inspiring and their love and respect for each other is as certain as sunrise. They’ve had one problem in their marriage and they’ve solved it as a team – and it’s clear she is married to her best friend and lover. I asked her, “How do you know when it’s right? After a year and a half if I don’t know, that’s bad right? I should know by now right?”

Sleaza and her husband were friends before they got together. She replied “I always felt a little different about him. I knew before we even got together. I was single for a while, and since I’m a positive person, I was making the most of it and really enjoying it. When something started happening between him and I, ever so slightly, I started freaking out and locking myself up in my room shaking and crying in the dark because I knew deep down in my heart that if he and I got together I would never get to be single again and a whole new stage of my life would begin”.

And that’s not normal. It’s love with a twist.

Thank you, Sleaza.

The Truth about Cats and Dogs

It’s Canadian Thanksgiving!!!!!! Happy Thanksgiving fellow Canucks!!!! I wish I in bed dreaming of the big meal later. But I am at work. I don’t work in Canada. L

It’s Columbus Day today too. I guess it doesn’t get celebrated any more. Google doesn’t even have a fancy graphic added to their name to celebrate. Does Google not have a little graphic for white people giving the natives disease? Or raping and pillaging?

My dog fell out of the bed this morning – he was sleeping by the edge which he never does, it was awesome! I laughed and laughed………He got back at me by dragging mud on my comforter. That’s ok, might add a little warmth. Like a fine layer of dirt on your Carhartt’s or cowboy garb. It’s impossible to keep my bed clean anyway, and not for all the right reasons.

I wonder if he misses the guy – who knows? I don’t think they really bonded. He’s a cat person. I don’t know if he really understood or liked dogs. I know my dog grew on him, but I always felt like it was “I like him despite him being a dog” not “because he’s a dog”. I don’t want to insult any one, but I also feel like cat people have less love to give, or maybe less left over love to give. I feel that they’re colder or something. So they like cats more, because they’re less of a commitment, and they’re more distant and independent. Or maybe they just choose to give their love to people instead of animals. I have no clue what I’m talking about.

Dog was unusually cuddly all weekend, which is great!

I had a great weekend! It wasn’t one that felt way too short. I got 11 hours of sleep Friday night! Saturday I drank with good people. And yesterday I “heard” some words that I were exactly what I wanted to hear, like someone read my mind! It’s great when that happens. It’s like getting in your car on a cold rainy day, turning the radio on, and hearing the song you’ve been craving to hear. Or waking up on a winter day and finding out the thing you didn’t want to do is cancelled because of snow and you’re free to sit on your couch and eat soup and watch guilty pleasure TV!

Ugh…..back to work.

I want a massage........

So I’m sick today and the day is almost over. I know I should be staying away from the DC, but I was totally crashing. I’ve committed at this point to process as many orders as I have paper clips for in my magnetic paper clip thingie. Everyone is trailing out of the building early, except us of course I have no energy for any more.

It will be a waste of a Friday night and all day I’ve been dreaming of Miso soup and the Price is Right. I just got my ass whooped in scrabble to add insult to injury. My back is sore for no apparent reason; and a back massage complete with lotion and warm hands sounds effing awesome right now. I wish my dog had softer paws and opposable thumbs.

I'm feeling super whiny.

HairCuts and Friends

So I got a haircut. I avoid going to get my hair cut or trimmed as much as possible. Not because I’m cheap, but because I’m not a good waiter. I hate waiting for things. But recently I went and got about 4 inches taken off my hair. At first I hated it but it’s really growing on me (no pun intended). It definitely looks healthier! But hairdressers perplex me. First of all, they never take off as much as I ask them to. This last time I said 4 inches, but I think she only took 2 so I had to get her to do it all over again. This happens when I get a trim too, but I don’t usually ask them to fix it. I have 2 theories on this, either they don’t want people to be pissed if it looks too short (because you can’t fix that) or they want you to come back more often and spend more of your hard earned money. It’s probably a bit of both. Furthermore, they all say you have to trim it to keep it growing? WTF? I don’t get that!!!?? Hair grows from the roots, not the tips and as far as I know hair is made of completely dead protein. Dead cells don’t do anything, let alone communicate anything to the roots. Can some one explain this to me?

So my friends say that a hair cut is good. That getting out of my comfort zone is good is good at a time like this.
My friends say everything will be ok, I won’t be a cat lady.
Friends say I am a good apple and they are all at the top of the tree, and it takes braver and better men to reach up there.
My older brother says I should date the guy who I would never give a chance to, like the driven lawyer with a bach pad decked out in black leather (or whatever those guys deco with these days) uptown.
My younger brother says……….he’s hungry = )
My friend says she never saw a spark with him and I.
My friend says I need a rebound!
Friends are good. Thank you, friends. You have all made me happier. Thank you for inviting me over to make muffins and watch S3x and the City. Thank you for keeping me occupied at work. Thank you for drinking with me. Sorry for crying at that bar (yikes)! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! You are good friends.

I have one friend that’s not so good – 007. 007, you are very self absorbed. How long did you know me before you knew I had any brothers?

007 and I are supposed to be friends now. For a long time he wanted more but I did not. Last Sunday he called me out of the blue to see how I’m doing. I tell him about some of the things I’m going through and almost cry on the phone and he says I’ll be alright. For once the conversation isn’t about him, it’s about me and my sad heart and I can vent vent vent. I’m surprised and impressed. I get to my soccer game and tell him I might want to vent more later.

Five hours later he calls back, talks for 10 minutes with nothing but the strategically placed “uhuh” from me – sinceriously. Goes into every detail of the fight him and his gf just had – and he’s obviously been drinking – then proceeds to invite me on the Virgin Islands trip instead of her and throws in that the 3 passwords on his computers still have to do with my name or my dog’s name. Now I don’t want to be or sound conceited – but that passes as a pass in my book. A pass from an ass. Really, 007? Did you really think it was a good idea to hit on me the day I tell you about all of my problems and issues and that I am recently “single”? It’s an awful idea! AWFUL! APALLING AND CLASSLESS!

I wanted to call you back and tell you how selfish you are and how much you ruined my day and evening. But I knew that you might be bummed that you upset me and that it didn’t work…….But you will never GET it.

No Thanks, Rosie Perez!

Life is good! Today is a beautiful day in this city………Sun is out, leaves are turning beautiful amber and scarlet colors, the weather is a perfect 70something……I had a great night last night……..and America’s Next Top Model (my guilty cheesy pleasure) is on tonight. I don’t have a favorite yet, but there is a really crazy psycho-bitch already, and I love me a good psycho-bitch!!!!! There are some cuties though. But Tyra stinks. She’s a horse. A big inane, self absorbed, horse. But thanks for the show, Tyra!!!!!!

This is quite the change from the mood I’ve been in lately. The "I don’t want to do anything but drink because I can’t stop thinking about how I’m going to be a crazy cat lady when I’m old" mood. Why so down lately? Let’s see…..I just broke up with the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.

Yes, I did the breaking up. Why you ask?
Thanks for asking!!!!!!!!
Was it because he’s not handsome????
Oh no, he was plenty handsome, our kids could be super models too if they got his build and fine Scandinavian features.
Was it because he didn’t treat you well?????
I have not asked for anything twice…..and haven’t even had to ask for some things!!!!! so no!
Was it because he’s gassy???? Cuz that stinks!
Never once farted around me. Thanks!!!!!
Was it because he’s not going anywhere??????
Actually, first boyfriend with a job and talent – a good job with a future, and just bought his own place, actually, broke up with him the night we were celebrating closing!!!! I must be fcuking insane!!!!!
Was it because sometimes he binge drinks and acts does assy things and you have to sweetly take care of him?????
Whoops! That’s me!
Was it because he wouldn’t make a good father?
Nope – Probably be a great father, and knows all kinds of things to teach a kid, like changing oil, how to handle a gun, how to grow basil………….
Was it because he’s a wuss?
Nope – I’ve seen him rescue his grandfather in currents, and seen him ready to take on a bunch of drunken punks that might have wanted to kick my ass.
Confused yet? Why??????!!!!

Because I love him but I’m not in love with him. I love the perfect guy, but I’m not in love with the perfect guy.

In the hopes that some time this entry might help some one who is confused…..I will now rant on and on and on. Also, because it makes me feel better!
We’ve been together for almost a year and a half, and I understand that at that stage, a lot of those "in love" feelings start to fade, and if you’ve chosen wisely a strong bonding love remains. But I don’t remember ever feeling that way. We had sort of a lukewarm start, but we liked each other, made each other happy……blah, blah, blah. But I don’t remember ever telling a friend "I think I’m in love", "I’m falling in love", or "I’m so in love!"……..I did say a lot of "He’s great, he makes me so happy". So over all, there is something missing. When I started freaking out, after the "M" word was dropped hypothetically, and not in a joking sense because we joked about it all the time……..I realized that I’m missing a feeling I’ve had in the past. I don’t feel like he gets me completely. I don’t feel completely gotten. Do you know what I mean????

It’s really pathetic, but I actually googled the phrase "How do you know when you’re in love?" and read everything I could. Even though I know I’ve been in love before. With not perfect guys of course. Selfish guys, guys with no jobs. Of course. I just needed to be reminded. Guess what? It actually helped? I read about how you just know it, and feel it all over. You feel like that person was made for you, built especially for you, and they push your right buttons, and you feel gotten. I’ve actually said the phrase "I just don’t feel like you get me" to him. I’ve never said that to another boyfriend. With others, as wrong as they were for me, I at least felt gotten.
So what to do? I broke up with him. We’re going to be friends….and we need to think.

What do I want?
I want my heart to jump a little when he walks in the room. I want him to challenge me in life. And not that bad kind of challenge, I’m too old for head games and I don’t need a hard to get chase. I want him to make me do new things that I like and that make me feel like I’m living my life to my fullest potential and learning. I want him to ask me a question that I DON’T know the answer to when we’re rolling around in sheets that smell like s3x on a Sunday morning, and then talk to me until we figure out the answer together. I want to look at him across the table at dinner and want to jump his bones, now, tomorrow, yesterday, and 30 years from now. I want him to feel the same. I want him to have the same goals of travelling and exploring the world together and placing experiences and love above material possessions. I want him to make me feel like the most important person in the room, and in the building, all the time, and allow me to do the same for him. I don’t want him to say ''Gloria. I, too know what it feels like to be thirsty. I too.have had a dry mouth.'', I want him to get me a glass of effing water (no thanks Rosie Perez) In other words, I want it ALL!!!!!

How do you know you’re in love? That’s fcuking how!!!!!!

Am I asking for too much? Maybe. Do people compromise? Of course……

But I’m not going to give up. I don’t even like cats that much anyway…well, I do when they’re kittens and I wish they’d stay that cute! But I’ve been wondering if I’ll end up old and alone for the past few weeks, and today is the first day that I feel it in my blood, and my heart, and in the tears I’ve cried into my sweatshirt! I will have it ALL!!!!!!!!
Not today, but some time tomorrow. He may not be perfect but he’ll be right for me, and we will be in love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for all the punctuation.....I just can't help myself today!!!!!!!!!!

Locust

So I get home from Vball - and there's a locust in my hallway. Or what appears to be a locust. It's not doing very well; I think parts of it are missing and it must be on it's road to death. I go online and read to try to find out if it's a Locust, or a Praying Mantis - whatever it is it's huge! It's probably a Locust and turns out they're harmless!

I need to get it out of my dog's way so he doesn't kill it or step on it. I should put it out of it's misery, but I can't kill something that big - scared of the crunch! So I just move it out of the way. Poor thing got moved out of the way in it's last hours by a "Position of the Day" calendar. Sad.

So I'm newly single. Not brand new, this happened over a week ago, almost two. Either way, I won't have a man to count on to move big bugs out of the way, or kill them for me. He still will because we're friends and he's awesome. But I can't count on it, because I don't want to use him, and soon some one will see how wonderful he is, and scoop him up, and she won't appreciate him going to his ex girlfriend's house to kill a bug or remove a broken shot glass from the garbage disposal.

But I have a new haircut! New things are good!!!!!!!!!
Nice to meet you = )