Maybe You Can't Stay Young, But You Can Stay Immature!

So not only does Brad Pitt get to bump uglies with Angelina Jolie, but he also makes $1000 every 5 minutes. I hate him.

Another weekend has come and gone and I’m still alive. Why are guys jerks? On Friday night I ended up almost walking home from a bar in a snowstorm because some @sshole was trying to get me too drunk to leave. Is this a good way to get some one to hang out with you? I just don’t get it. He’s also the first person that ever guessed my age right, which makes me sad. And considering he was trying to hit it, he probably thought he was being generous with that guess too. Not very smooth, Ex-Lax. Be weary of people who are divorced in their 20’s.

On Saturday morning, I woke up still buzzed and a friend took me out to an awesome breakfast! Good food and good company. Then we went to a sex toy store. I got some Betty Page art which I’ve been looking for for a while. I may have, or may not have, allegedly gotten something else.

Saturday night we went to an early Halloween party full of debauchery and substances. The pictures aren’t too incriminating once a couple have been deleted….but they are posted on the shared drive at work! UGH! Thanks Sleaza! Even Sleaza’s husband, who I thought was keeping it together really well, lost his keys. Someone fell through the shower, costumes were funny, a puppy stole a Jello shot……..it was a good time all around. Lost the soccer game on Sunday morning but it was fun! I put Gus (handsome cuddler) through a lot that night and he was a total trooper. If it was a sneaky test for kindness and devotion he would have passed with flying fcuking colors.

Passed out from massive fatigue after the game and was awoken by the doorbell. Guess what? Floyd invited people over, forgot about it, and wasn’t even there! “Nice Job Floyd!” I forced the last of my Bailey’s down their throats and tried to entertain for about a half hour before the girl had to go pick Floyd up. The guy stayed and hung out with me…because guess what? He has a bullet lodged in his leg and can’t walk very well. At this point…..I start wondering if they actually ever dropped Floyd’s real name…..or if I was so out of it that I just let some strangers in and I was going to die in my living room while I’m tired and hung over! They were really nice though. Turns out his crack head mom just shot him when he tried and intervention….no biggie……

Please remind me of this next time I’m bitching about breaking a nail or something.

Floyd went home sick from work this morning…on the ride here he wasn’t sick at all. I’m worried about him getting fired. Leases suck, eh?