Back in the Cube

As I might have mentioned before…I love traveling. I just got back from a week in Puerto Vallarta and now all I have left is fond memories and the promise of traveling more and in general taking more time to smell the flowers in life. I’m not sure if the salsa and alcohol has cleared my body yet, but the tan still remains.

PV is a cool town, lots of interesting sculptures and beautiful views. It’s a big city with a back drop of mountains and jungle, and unlike some of the other places I’ve been to, the jungle didn’t get ravaged by the storms of last year. We took a zip line tour through the jungle which was awesome and on the setting of where Predator was filmed. I didn’t see Predator, but then again, I wouldn’t right? I’m scared of heights so it was pretty intense.

Most days were just full of food, drink, and beach volleyball. I could definitely get used to that.

I started reading Valley of the Dolls again while on vacation. Great poolside reading by the way.

Yesterday should have been relaxing but I had a little too much at the wet bar the morning of the flight back and had a tough time dealing with the airport. Then there was a “must go to” dinner with my family which was stressful because they’ve never done that before and the logistics of cars and picking up my dog were irreconcilable. On the way to my rent’s house we t-boned a car that was making a left turn on our green light….idiots. And even after all that Gus picked up my dog and brought him all the way back to the burbs and hung out with my crazy family before he drove us all the way back downtown. I don’t know how to make it up to him. I don’t know how to make anything up to him – he’s so helpful and giving.

Now I’m back in the cube with no windows.

VD

Valentine's day - Gus, Bishop, too much wine, sushi take out, eating in bed, SATC..........perfect.

the Stanley

Three Oh

Lately I've been reminded often that I'm getting older every day. I'd probably be depressed about it but it doesn't even seem real. My age doesn't seem real - I mean how did I get here? I was 16 years old two days ago! And when I was 16, I couldn't imagine my life at this age - I thought I'd be married with kids - and here I am, barely handling the responsibility of supporting myself and my dog. My freinds are turning 30, a high school friend, and yeah, I guess you could say crush recently got engaged, another college friend married - time just keeps rolling on and on.

They call it a "quarterlife crisis" - the realization of what life is really like as an adult, and the struggle and reconciliation of that newly discovered reality with your dreamy expectations in youth. It's not that I'm unhappy with my life - I am very lucky and realize that. It's when I meet people in their late 20's that have their own businesses, or are helping cure cancer, that I feel insignificant and unaccomplished.

So I spent the weekend in the mountains with Gus helping my friend turn 30. She turned it into a huge party, in lieu of a wedding that may never happen. She had the whole bar almost all to herself and her guests (I don't even know that many people) and a blue grass band. For a some one who can be a recluse for months at a time she sure knows how to throw a party! The band was good but difficult to dance to for some reason. All of her family was in from Iowa - and there were cute babies with chubby cheeks to pinch.

The highlight of the weekend was a trip to the Stanley motel, where Stephen King stayed in room 217 and was inspired and started writing the Shining. I can see why - the hotel was built in 1909 and has a ominous ambiance. We took pictures, explored the grounds and room areas, peed in their creepy bathrooms, and had a glass of wine at the creepy bar.

Gus and I tried to set up two friends yesterday - and although they are both great - I knew ahead of time that it probably wouldn't be a huge success. I'm starting to think I have magical powers of intuition about these things. But we gave it a shot anyway and I got to go tubing! Fun - but wish it was faster.

I like fast - except when it comes to the speed of time.

There I am on the steps of the hotel - a little blob.

How Cute are We?

Give Me Money

Another weekend of drinking and eating has passed, complete with one ridiculous face first fall in the snow - note - don't run and jump on a sled before you know how slick it is or isn't. On sunday morning the weather finally wom and I couldn't help but feel anti social and bitter about all that isn't right with my life and my world. I couldn't even drag myself out to a superbowl party. And Gus's sweet attempts to cheer me up failed - but they did show me that some one cared about my mood and that made things better.

Today, everyone is talking about the SB commercials and the half time show and I feel left out.

It was nice to spend a weekend completely at home though. I feel like the rest of the month will be so much running around that I need to embrace my chance to stay home, watch bad movies on TV, and SATC re runs, and cook for myself. Even tried to get in to Grey's but couldn't, perhaps I need to start from the beginning. Oh pesto - why must you be so evil but yummy?

I am looking for a second job. It's really sad that with a Master's I don't make enough money for my lifestyle - it isn't after all full of diamonds and Dom. I am looking for anything flexible that'll pay me at least $10/hour. Catering would be good - but not serving - because I'm awful at it and dread every shift. So please let me know if you know of anything. Also, if you just feel like giving me money, then feel free. Paypal link to come.

Frozen Snot

It's really effing cold here today. The snow is crunchy and so are my boogers. I'm wearing wool and I'm still cold. The word wool always makes me think of being a kid in Poland and having those mittens that have the string that goes through your coat and sleeves, so that your mittens just hang down when you take them off and you can never lose them. Thos mittens were so authentic and wooly that when they got wet they actually smelled like sheep and farm - and i still remember that smell - it wasn't pleasant, but these days I'd swear it was.

So this is the coldest day of the year. My buyer ran 9 miles this morning - that's before 7am folks. I don't know how you can breath when your snot has frozen your nose shut. At least I have Mexico to look forward too...............

Soon, I might possibly have Tobago to look forward to? My friend has a timeshare on loan on the island, for workign some overtime or something and it sleeps six - so my cost is flight, food and booze. She has invited me and another old friend and three I don't know, and it will only be ladies. I have never been on an all girl's trip, and never got to do the spring break thing or travel sans beau so this will be my girly spring break - minus the drunken one night stand with two frat boys that in A & F and oozing herpes!

I have no money at all to be doing this. But I did find out that I need to fly in to Port o Spain rather than Tobago, which makes the flight only, and I use the term only very loosely, $600. But if I'm not using my earnings on living my life to the fullest then I'm wasting it away. Debt will get paid down eventually, and as long as nothing is getting repo'ed I'll be fine one day. And if I die one day, yes if, I'll never think "dang......I never paid that credit card off" - but I might think "dang, I never ate picked a fresh coconut and filled it with rum before snorkeling with sea turtles!". And I always say, if I die in debt, then I WIN - even if it is from malaria!

Happy Fiscal New Year!!!

Every New Year, I make some resolutions. I know this is cheesy and I hear distant groans, but I don’t care what anyone says: “It’s just a date; nothing’s going to change just because a number rolls over or you have a new calendar.” Bullshit. The only reason nothing changes is because we don’t make it change. And obviously I’m not talking about curing world hunger, but about minor self improvement. The new number and new calendar are just a motivator and a reminder that new beginnings are possible, and today is the day to start!

BTW, I feel the same way about Valentine’s day – I always hear the “it’s ridiculous to have a day where you’re obligated to do stuff to prove you care about some one, we should be doing that every day anyway….blah blah blah” or some version of the previous. The thing is, most of us do not go out of the way for our cared ones every day in a grandiose manner. Sure – the little things that happen every day are more important than anything, but it’s nice to set special occasions apart and go even further out of the way, have a reason to get dressed up and feel appreciated. And if I were single, I think I’d go out of my way to get my girlfriends together for fondue and wine and movies, because they all need appreciation too!

I am sappy and I digress. So yes, I missed real New Year’s this year, and failed to make resolutions, so I am taking the beginning of the fiscal New Year’s as my second chance – and if you missed this one too, fear not, there’s also Chinese New Year’s.

Here goes:

I will try to get myself in a financial position to buy a house (a cute tiny dog friendly house) by the end of the year, so that I can start looking in early 2008. This will involve cutting back on certain things like breakfast burritos, an abundance of new clothes for summer, using a smaller dab of shampoo and toothpaste (I always end up spitting half of it out in a big glob anyway), fewer drinks at concerts ….just the little things. Hopefully they’ll add up. But I will not skimp on eating healthy food, because nothing is more important than my health, and feeling good.

I would like to get down to the weight on my driver’s license. I wasn’t far all last year, thanks to NY’s Resolutions 2006, but the holiday season took its toll.

I’d like to do more volunteer work. I may not have much money, but I do have time to help those that need help more than I do.

I will learn more about skin care and get myself started on some sort of anti aging care program. I will be 30 in less than three years so it’s about that time to start. Currently, I walk by that isle and see about 60 products, all of which I don’t understand. I pick up the bottle and read the ingredients and most of them sound like they can’t be good… any suggestions? This program will include many fewer night passed out with make up still on, and going out the next day in wakeandwear. This is now even more important since I seem to be developing some wonderful skin condition which is some sort of Dermatitis – yay!

I will perform more random acts of kindness.

I will be less of a sucker when people’s intentions are not kind towards me.

I will read more. I can’t remember how many books I read last year but it wasn’t enough. This might also help with the money situation, if I can downgrade the cable with reading as a crutch – life will be heard without E and VH1 but I guess I can’t have it all. I will especially read “Smart Women Finish Rich” after a through dusting.

I will try to have more patience with my dog, even when he’s running around in circles in excitement. He cannot help this I’m afraid, and if I get my nose broken because he runs by me while I’m tying up my shoes, I should know better! I need to accept the things I cannot change in him.

I will cry less over spilled milk. If I go out to a bar and run my tab out too high, there is nothing I can do about it the next day. If people that I care about leave my world, I will know that there was a reason for that.

I will work on passive aggressive behavior and try to communicate my problems to people rather than thinking they are too petty to bring up, and then slowly going nuts inside until I do something bad.

I will worry less about what ifs. If I take care of myself and my issues, and the people I care about, and do the right thing, things should take care of themselves.

Wish me luck!!!