Three Oh

Lately I've been reminded often that I'm getting older every day. I'd probably be depressed about it but it doesn't even seem real. My age doesn't seem real - I mean how did I get here? I was 16 years old two days ago! And when I was 16, I couldn't imagine my life at this age - I thought I'd be married with kids - and here I am, barely handling the responsibility of supporting myself and my dog. My freinds are turning 30, a high school friend, and yeah, I guess you could say crush recently got engaged, another college friend married - time just keeps rolling on and on.

They call it a "quarterlife crisis" - the realization of what life is really like as an adult, and the struggle and reconciliation of that newly discovered reality with your dreamy expectations in youth. It's not that I'm unhappy with my life - I am very lucky and realize that. It's when I meet people in their late 20's that have their own businesses, or are helping cure cancer, that I feel insignificant and unaccomplished.

So I spent the weekend in the mountains with Gus helping my friend turn 30. She turned it into a huge party, in lieu of a wedding that may never happen. She had the whole bar almost all to herself and her guests (I don't even know that many people) and a blue grass band. For a some one who can be a recluse for months at a time she sure knows how to throw a party! The band was good but difficult to dance to for some reason. All of her family was in from Iowa - and there were cute babies with chubby cheeks to pinch.

The highlight of the weekend was a trip to the Stanley motel, where Stephen King stayed in room 217 and was inspired and started writing the Shining. I can see why - the hotel was built in 1909 and has a ominous ambiance. We took pictures, explored the grounds and room areas, peed in their creepy bathrooms, and had a glass of wine at the creepy bar.

Gus and I tried to set up two friends yesterday - and although they are both great - I knew ahead of time that it probably wouldn't be a huge success. I'm starting to think I have magical powers of intuition about these things. But we gave it a shot anyway and I got to go tubing! Fun - but wish it was faster.

I like fast - except when it comes to the speed of time.

There I am on the steps of the hotel - a little blob.