PHD in Sexology
According to a recent study, when both genders were asked to rate certain statements, men were found to want some one who is "always enthusiastic about sex", while women were found to "want someone who is completely into them."
A study I heard a couple of weeks ago, concluded that the strength of desire a woman has to have sex declines with the time she is with her partner. I figured this would be true for both sexes, but only women were mentioned here, and the drop in desire was dramatic.
According to a recent study, for more than 50% of women, desire does not precede arousal. That is, women do not actually want to have sex, but end up aroused any way because it’s going on.
Are we doomed? Let’s analyze – men want a woman who is excited and initiates, while women often don’t even want to have sex until the man has taken the initiative and arouses them and they remember how much fun it is. Furthermore, this just gets worse over time? The longer a relationship goes on the less interested the woman is in initiating or even participating. This of course probably leads the male to seek other things to “be into” and the woman to feel less appreciated and be even less interested in physical intimacy….and where does this vicious cycle of decay leave everyone?
Today I saw a fake pony at Super Target. It was about 3 feet tall, had moving parts and was furry and had its own pen, and there was a little girl trying to jam a fake carrot in its mouth. She could ride it. This pony was $250. Is this what we’re doing now? Getting children Robo-Ponies?
Worse yet, a couple of months ago, there was a billboard on my way to work, an ad for some network of children’s programming and all it said was “cheaper than buying them a pony”. WTF? Oh yeah, and just the same. Except for the unique relationship and respect for life and responsibility that owning and caring for pony might provide!
I can’t wait until they start making Robo-Absentee-Dad/Mom for the kids. It’ll be just like the real thing! No wait, we don’t even need robots. There can just be fake mom/dad cable programming. We could just have the likes of say, virtual Brad Pitt talking to his own children and it’ll be just like having your own dad around. And finally, a show that’ll appeal to both kid and mom!
I know, I know, it doesn’t have to go that way, blah, blah, blah. But the doctor on the radio today took call after call of the same thing over and over again – and probably too often it does.
posted by chinchilla @ 8:24 AM
4 Comments:
1. I don't think you should read so much into the studies you read and hear about- seems like everytime you hear one of these you accept it to be true. I think you should take more into account your own experiences and observations and not worry so much about how a study on the radio said your life would turn out...
2. Almost every little girl wants a pony. And very few kids are actually privelaged enough to have one. What's wrong with a play pony! Its just an evolution of the old broomstick with a horsehead.
I mean no disrespect... please take my comments in the most constructive way! ;)
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Studies are a tricky thing. There are a lot of them and a lot more people are on the study bandwagon now than ever. Some of the studies are flawed through lack of skill and thoroughness while others are simply disingenuous. Some of the studies propose really wacky things that are totally outside the box, and they're not accepted by conventional wisdom. Some of these rejects turn out to be gems that are way ahead of their time (Darwin, Mendel) and others are just wackos advocating pseudo-science, are advancing their own agenda (anyone hear of the Electric Universe?), or just turn out to have been wrong. Sometimes it's all of the above (Freud).
So, granted, the whole thing requires a healthy dose of skepticism, but sometimes even "experts" cannot agree on what's valid and what isn't, or are fooled, or totally fuck up, or have their own agenda, and the media doesn't really try to show the world with a grain of salt or anything like that because they frequently have an agenda of their own in presenting this stuff. As lay people, we have basically no hope of navigating any of this nonsense, and either believing everything or rejecting everything, or believing only some of it, all on its face value is basically a zero-sum game (or so I hope - we could, for all I know, be losing badly).
Since it's hard to be critical about the science we know very little about, the best we can do is look for the biases in the story/origins of the study and who's behind it. The study you talk about may not be flawed or disingenuous, but if you got it from a source that's, say, cynical about women's sexuality or relationships or what have you, they may not present competing views or be even moderately critical about the things they're presenting. What if they want to you to feel shitty about things, either because they're assholes or feel shitty themselves and are sharing the wealth?
The discussion that follows (or fails to follow) also has a bearing on things. A male chauvinist may look at this result and say: "This is why we need five mistresses and a crack whore for when we feel really kinky. Women suck. QED." A left-leaning person might take the opposite view, that, say "women are socialized to feel really shitty about their sexuality so that they don't realize how great it is until and only while they're having sex, because at that point the reality of the situation becomes basically inescapable." A feminist might add that some dicks ought to get chopped off for this. Meanwhile, a pessimist/cynic might say that "well, things are shitty this way. Love don't last. Life sucks, then you get stabbed by antlers in the head." There probably are other views I haven't mentioned.
Anyway, what I'm getting at is, even if you find the study compelling, take a minute to think about where you heard it and in what context, and whether that really makes sense, and what the people presenting it are after, and whether the result is really something to feel bad about or something to fight against or whether it's actually bogus and you should ignore it.
Post a Comment
<< Home