Full Weekend Recap!

Another weekend is over and Monday is in full swing. It’s a sad time. The weekend was great and I wish it were Friday again! On Friday, Gus took me out to dinner and a movie. The sushi was great and Borat is one of the funniest movies of all time. He brought sunflowers – I love sunflowers! He also bought Khakis for dinner because he couldn’t find any others. Can you get any cuter? Seriously though, clean up your closet = )

I had to realize that my life was getting a little too 90210 for my taste. On Friday night while I was on this date, my ex was hanging out with another guy I’ve hooked up with that he’s recently randomly started talking to. Ick. Furthermore, he told me he wants to ask a girl at work out that I know and have spent time with (but he did not know this). I’m fine with this really, and sadly I don’t even have anything catty to say to her and I’m GREAT at catty. I even gave him the advice for the perfect nondate date that he was totally stressing about. I mean really, it was perfect. I am the world’s best ex girlfriend. I am Joe Motherfucking Wingman.

Saturday was a girls’ night out and tons of fun. Although the establishment left much to be desired – there was pool, and drinking and shameless man picking up on. I’m soooo glad I’m not single. The group consisted of me, a friend from Volleyball, a goofy punky girl, a hot pregnant single girl (L) and the ever elusive hot lesbian couple. Yes, guys, they really exist. And one of them was pregnant, which makes so many questions fly around in my head that it wants to explode! But I didn’t get drunk and make an ass of myself by asking any of them. Go me!

Step 1 – Set up camp at the pool table across the hall from cute guys.
Step 2 – Point, giggle, and talk behind your hand like high school girls.
Step 3 – Stare, looking for wedding bands. Notice only one out of six.
Step 4 – Notice them noticing what you’re doing.
Step 5 – Stop acting like that (oh, no, that’s what I WISH they would have done but didn’t)
Step 6 – Have the waitress bring them a pitcher because “we hear guys like beer”
Step 7 – Try not to act too disappointed that they didn’t come over to thank you
Step 8 – Graciously accept the 5 shots they send over!!! Woohooo!
Step 9 – Close out pool table tab and awkwardly invite them to play shuffle bored.
Step 10 – Realize that Shuffle Bored is the most boring fucking game ever invented and you’re not supposed to be playing it……..yet
Step 11 – Go back to playing pool send girls over for contact.

Yes, it was shameless. Except for my shame. When they guys finally came over to talk to us, awkward glances, bad conversation, and numbers were exchanged. I learned from the one wedding banded man that some men make lists of types of meat they want to try before they decide on a cow they want to buy. Yes, a physical bullet pointed list. This reminds me why some girls are lesbians.

I also learned that pregnant women still get hit on by guys. As the hot single woman was hit on by a tall, dark, handsome gentleman who asked me whether he should bring her juice? Or Water? Upon finding out she couldn’t have a real drink….Can you get any cuter?

Overall – a great weekend with one miner exception, that I might go into in a later piece entitled “Worst Moments of My Life…….So Far” – but not today. Happy Monday!