Just a Few Simple Needs...

I am soooooo bored at work with nothing to do. Some other things I want, sinceriously:

A timeshare to the world.

A plane to get me there, or a High Speed Civil Transporter if they exist....the go mach 15!

A house with a secret passage, a ball pit and a hoseable food fight room.

A huge yard with a hot tub, dog playground, cherry trees, brook, water slide, and one huge Weeping willow named Bob.

A tomb that would put the Taj Mahal to shame.

A signed in blood confession to the JonBenet Ramsey murder, because I'm still obsessed with it and always will be. Liar! Murderer!

An Iron Maiden, because they look cool and creep people out.

A vineyard specializing in Sauv. Blanc, where we still stomp grapes by foot. I've always wanted to do that!

Some kind of big party boat with a built in submarine (for my friends and family, I'm way too claustrophobic), and a shark cage for when I get bored with life.

A huge Buddha collection made out of solid green and blue amethyst.

A sushi restaurant next door to my house.

A tent with a solar battery powered heater.

An elephant or dolphin family that accepts me as one of their own. No wait - both.

A movie library with all my favorite romantic comedies/movies - Groundhog Day, Pride and Prejudice, Little Women, When Harry Met Sally.......Oh ya, and My So Called Life. "You're so beautiful, it hurts to look at you".

A heated massage table.

A pearl that I found in the ocean.

A lie detector. Mostly to mess with people, but also to test Bishop's Babysitters. However, if I have my own plane, he might never need them again!


A real Edvard Munch painting – the Madonna please.

A soup kitchen for the homeless. With the best tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches and NesQuick hot chocolate.

A liger.

People who are forced to play Volleyball or soccer with me at my whim. And I have many
whims!

A confession booth so that I can play dirty priest and innocent school girl. But not by myself.

A detailed and accurate map to the fountain of youth.

On a related note - an unlimited supply of livers.

A limo with a driver named Chief. So I can say, "Take us to Hollywood, Chief" just because
it sounds fun. Or maybe Spanky. Someone needs to be named Spanky!

Fresca from my tap.

A juke box that does NOT HAVE any Black Crowes on it, or Sweet Home Alabama. Does every bar have to have those?

Salma Hayek's body and Portia de Rossi's hair (when she was on Ally)

On a related note, a lifetime supply of sports bras.

A painting studio complete with the best stereo system in the world that makes Maria Callas sound like more of an angel than she already is.

A dance studio with private instructors.

A GIANT Martini glass filled with champagne so that when I perfect the art of burlesque dancing I can put Dita Von Teese to shame.

Scotch.

A library of all the books that I'll ever want to read. Even the ones that haven't been written yet.

Three beds: a water bed, a sand bed, and some awesome space age material bed. Plus the one I currently own.

A piece of each planet in our Solar System, Pluto included. That's such BS!

So if my last post wasn't too much to ask....I'm sure this is.