uptown girl
Ok, another sunday morning. It turns out I have a lot of issues that I didn't know about - or it's just that time of life when i'll stress out about everything. Is this my quarter life crisis? Perchance.........
I wasn't raised to care about other people. I wasn't raised to do good deeds for no reason. And yet I have always thought I've been raised well. How can this be? Thank you to every boyfriend or friend that has made me want to be a better person without making me feel like an @sshole for not being one already.
So my parents never went to a soccer game, or choir performance. They weren't out of town, or busy, they just didn't think it was important. But it was. When I lived in Eugene 8 of my closes friends came to my choir performance and almost I cried. Last night I watched "Uptown Girls" and it meant too much.
When I graduated from college, the only person that came was my ex bf (and he was an ex at the time) that flew in from San Fran. My parents lived less than an hour away. My dad was out of town. My mom didn't come because she "doesn't like driving on the highway".
I guess it's not a big deal and I shouldn't still be worrying about it. But I guess I never realized that it bugged me before. I'm going to hang out with my brothers today. No one went to their football games either. I wasn't raised to do that.
posted by chinchilla @ 11:06 AM
5 Comments:
Your parents suck. I am blaming eastern European attitudes, but they still suck. I love you and would go see your shows and graduation.
Hi, I'm going to be new to your blog and you've probably read some of my comments on Bettylou's blog. Yes I'm the MOM. I want to come over to your house right now and hold you really really tight and tell you that I will come to the opening of an envelope in you house. I can already tell you that I'm so so proud of all you've accomplished. Parents learn from their parents. That's where nature vs. nuture comes in. I see that you recognize the flaw in your upbringing and I hope you break the cycle now. You will feel very good about yourself when you care about others. Sounds like you can start (and you already have) with your brothers. You take care, keep writing because it's good therapy and I'll write again soon.. Bettylou's MOM
Yikes, a family invasion. ;)
I'd like to speak out on behalf of Eastern European attitudes 'cause my Eastern European parents dragged my ass to my graduation when I was sick and tried of my university and wanted nothing to do with it. Is that good or bad? And I'm an unstable basket case anyway, though I guess I don't really resent my parents as part of that whole thing.
But that's really neither here nor there. I know your folks aren't inspiring role models for the generations to come, and not just because of this. Still, in spite of all of it, you turned out to be an amazing, wonderful girl, and you know I'd sell the world with everyone on it for you. So, um, don't vote for me for the UN Secretary General...
I am so SOOOOOO touched. My parent's don't suck....they're just different. And I'm sure I made them sound bad, but the blog was posted on a very bitter day. My parent's have very different beliefs than most people and my dad was raised by negative reinforcement at best.
When he told me they both thought I couldn't finish grad school, I think he actually thought that was a motivator. But I don't work that way. You tell me I look like I'm gaining weight - it just makes me want to eat a brownie.
My parents didn't have supportive parents, and they've come a long way and I love them. They have worked hard and they have their problems.
I know I will break the cycle. And I feel very lucky to be surrounded by so many people that have shown me how it can be. Thank you! Don't stop, it all matters.
Now you see why I love my mommy.
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