Happy Birthday to Me!
Here's what I've learned in 28 years:
1. Don't ever ask him if he thinks your ass is too big
2. Don't ever pluck your eye brows, or trim your hair under the influence (LUI = land scaping under the influence)
3. Do go dancing - all kinds of dancing - even polka
4. Don't settle for a guy that doesn't make you feel like the most important person in the room .
5. Don't say I love you when you don't mean it
6. Say I love you when you mean it
7. If you're eating something and you find mold, stop eating it, it's not worth it........ unless it is I guess
8. Don't take the words of a pharmacist in Mexico as scripture
9. Do watch PIR on a sick day, every single time, even if you have to have puke bucket by you
10. Don't trust a person that always kisses with their eyes open
11. Don't take a bad day out on your dog.....or cat
12. Do realize that your parents, although they're your parents, are just adults with their own hangups and problems and complexes
13. Don't let their complexes become your own.
14. Don't let your dirty tupperware sit around.....forever.....trust me.
15. Wear panties with skirts
posted by chinchilla @ 12:07 PM
2 Comments:
re #1. Loaded questions are great, but luckily I don't get consulted on these things very often. The rare times that it does happen, I like to throw in, from beyond swatting range, something like "the real question is, is it big enough?" Of course that could go to insecurities the other way, but I haven't gotten slapped for it yet, though this might explain why I don't get consulted on these things very often.
re #7. Unless it's brie. Sweet delicious brie.
Happy freaking sweet birthday of awesomeness, drenched in booze with an olive on top!!!
Well, #7 was a lesson recently learned and sadly, the cutting mold off thing just doesn't work when it comes to bread. Once it's on there, the bread is dead.
Yuck!
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